The Great Society
by Jason Nelson
In the woods, and without hormones, there is a growing concern. It
seems the birds have elected leaders. It only seems that way because the
pamphlets and bird newspaper articles are written in a French Dadaist
style. Biologists are puzzled by this new oddly feathered social structure
and by the pervasiveness of fringe French culture. To thwart the inevitable
aerial attack from hordes of corrupt pigeon and scissor tail fly catcher
officials, the military has devised a plan to destroy France. Although this
is not a direct solution to any future bird bombardments, it is a project
the military has been developing for quite some time. Sure, the French will
try to solicit help from the birds, largely due to their surreal
contributions to aviary democracy. But then birds aren’t really after
humankind. Instead, they’ve plotted to cleansing the world of squirrels.
The birds have been watching those crafty little creatures gathering nuts
into community stockpiles and scurrying around monopolizing trees, and
pledged to rid the world of their godless communist regime.
Back: “Evolution”