Flash Fictions

Either The End or The Beginning

I‘ve seen The End. Don’t worry about seeing it for yourself, because

you’ll be disappointed. All the bumper stickers and billboards build it up

way too much. But just in case you have some odd nerve disorder or are just

bored, I’ll give you the directions. Take the highway, I forget which one,

to the town of Felt in the Oklahoma panhandle. Once there turn on your

radio, press the scan button, and keep driving. At first you’ll wonder when

the radio scan will stop. You’ll watch the numbers rolling from 88 to 108,

become mesmerized and drive off the road into a ditch. Slap yourself, then

slap yourself again. When you hear a low grumbling crunching sound coming

from your cheek, then it is probably a good idea to stop hitting yourself.

Get back on the road, and keep driving until the scan finally stops and the

blaring country music scares the crap out of you. At this point clean

yourself up, change your underwear, turn south and you’re there at The End.

I’ll be honest though. I’ve only seen it from a distance. I was going to

stop. But after reading the tourism pamphlet on The Beginning and its 99

cent ham sandwiches just a few miles down the road, The End just didn’t

seem like that big…

Head On: “Just Right Before Unknown”


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