Screen Reviews

Animated Shorts Program

If you ever take a good hard look at those little dudes in a Lego set, they always have an inscrutable smile. Fact is, most of those itty folk are not just happy, they’re positively gay. Rick and Steve, the Happiest Gay Couple in All the World sure are, and tonight they’ve invited a few friends over, including those two lesbians. After a nice quiche, they’ll play some gay Pictionary. By the by, someone needs a sperm sample so they can have a baby. Can you boys help? And how many explicit homoerotic films have you seen shot entirely with small plastic blocks?

Bimbos aren’t that bright, and Barby and her friend Trashy can’t understand where all the money is going in Barby and the Phone Job. Well, a girl’s gotta meet the bills, and Barby steps up to the receiver and does ANYTHING a voice on the other end asks – tennis racquet, scuba gear, you name it. She can even tie herself up in bondage gear, all by herself. It’s that sort of Can Do attitude that makes America strong. Where’s that pesky cash going? Why, it seems Ken can’t stay away from 1-900-SEXTOYS, and now he’s one of Barby’s regular customers. And you thought this pair had no genitalia.

A scratchy 1946 Jamaican song wins an MTV video make over in Out The Fire. Everyone skanks while they burn to the bone as that old fireball gets around in a pre-Rasta Calypso dance tune.

There’s a dark side to many of this year’s films. Chum has a few old puppet buddies hanging out in a bar, mercifully shaded from the direct florescent light of reality. Intruding on their privacy of the bartender and his tapeworm is the Ceramic Drink Mug God Kon-Tiki, here to grab a cold one and move on. A drone of bar chat stops only long enough to acknowledge those patrons who can’t take the light before everything return to normal.

Creepy Family Portrait, populated by armatures covered with muscle and not enough flesh, shows how a 5-year old deals with his discovery of mommy and daddy’s favorite pastime. Sure, now you know the folks got it on, but it sure was a shock the first time you found out, wasn’t it?

We’ll wrap up with the mysterious Luz, an ILM girl in a gloomy urban setting. She won’t come in for dinner, and is suspended in a loop of wandering and trying to count from 121 to 157. Why? Because. Film school can do that to you. If you can’t think of anything fun, just try to creep people out.


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