Inconvenience Store

BOOK REVIEW: Scams From The Great Beyond

Holy fuck, but how did I miss THIS thing for the three years it’s been out?

Dumb ass me, I guess.

PH slices, dices, and just generally EVISCERATES the whole paranormal schtick with intelligence, glee, and a rapier wit.

EXCELLENT STUFF.

Everything from telekinesis to cattle mutilation comes in for what it’s due, and, if you’re of the more dubiously moral type, each gets its treatment by way of which you too can fleece the gullible out of hard-earned cash using such arcana, and a whole slew of other neato stuff too.

A quick quote from the UFO department oughtta suffice to give you the feel of this thing:

A man. A plan. A hubcap! What more could anyone want? Some tips based on experience here:

  • 1. Hubcaps can be surprisingly heavy. Be careful if you throw them, and make sure you don’t hit yourself or somebody else.
  • 2. Avoid an area with lots of trees or other items in the background. This technique works best if you can get a clear shot of your object with nothing but sky behind it.
  • 3. If you must use heavy things like hubcaps, sometimes it can help if you throw them from a height such as a roof or ladder. Try not to fall off as you throw the object. If you must fall off, make sure your friend with the camera gets a picture of you plummeting in mid-air, as you may be able to tell people that this is you being sucked upward into the UFO! If you get injured in the fall, and you have insurance, consider sticking to the story, because then if the company pays your doctor’s bills, you can say that they “investigated and verified” your story.
  • 4. Don’t get too hung up on the idea of using hubcaps. There are a lot of lighter, less dangerous, more easily obtainable items that are just as usable. It was discovered, for example, that one particularly effective UFO was a strange-looking rubber chew toy for a dog that was covered with aluminum foil. It was light, it was easy to toss, it was virtually indestructible, and if it hit something it caused no damage.
  • </ul>

    </blockquote>

    Oh YEAH!

    Get this sonofabitch NOW, and then get out there and go to work on each and every last one of them dumb fucks who seem to be born with a desperate need to accept this kind of thing, even as they have no idea what something like the quadratic formula might be, or what it could be useful for.

    They deserve to be robbed of every last nickel they own, and you’re just the guy to do it. With the help of this little book.

    Scams From The Great Beyond

    Peter Huston, 1997, Paladin Press

    P.O. Box 1307, Boulder CO, 80306

    http://www.paladin-press.com


    Recently on Ink 19...

    Swans

    Swans

    Event Reviews

    40 years on, Michael Gira and Swans continue to bring a ritualistic experience that needs to be heard in order to be believed. Featured photo by Reese Cann.

    Eclipse 2024

    Eclipse 2024

    Features

    The biggest astronomical event of the decade coincides with a long overdue trip to Austin, Texas.

    Sun Ra

    Sun Ra

    Music Reviews

    At the Showcase: Live in Chicago 1976/1977 (Jazz Detective). Review by Bob Pomeroy.