Music Reviews


Ugliness Revealed


Shock! Horror! Japanese Do Rock and Roll Better, Part 753:

Millions of Americans today joined the sorrowful outcry, as they realized that once again their country has been bested in the death metal wars. This utter humiliation of the American forces occurred in broad daylight, in a brazen manner with the release of terrorist device Ugliness Revealed. Within hours of its release, young and old alike could be seen reeling, staggering down the streets bloody and bandaged, with glazed eyes, muttering, “The power• after I heard ‘Decimate With Hysteria,’ I knew our boys never had a chance.” And truly, they didn’t even have a prayer. The malevolent Defiled confounded expectations and defenses with a style of death metal warfare that reflects the unpredictably of jazz, as well a warlike immediacy that wasted little time in pounding our defenses to a gore-soaked pulp. Civil defense officials warn off the record that there may be some sort of ideological alliance with Canadian seditionist cabal the Gorguts. What is known is that their attack formations are confusing and erratic, small white noise decoys are deployed first to confound our radar and sensory detectors, followed by full-scale oblique attack formations. These attack squadrons swarm, swoop, dive, and maneuver with no resemblance to any previous military/musical logic, but they hit their targets with vicious precision. The fighter planes of the Defiled are painted a shiny ebon, with their distinctive sigils and a lurid bleeding skull painted on each wing. Army officials try to keep a brave face in public, but there are whispers that they privately admit that we are hopelessly outmatched. A high-ranking officer, speaking on condition of anonymity, cautioned, “They’ve got us by the balls on this one. We’ve been bested. Who can we count on to outmatch them, Six Feet Under? Don’t make me laugh. America is fucked.”

Necropolis New York, 85 Stanton St. 4B, New York, NY 10002

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