ECW Anarchy Rocks
ECW! They’re dead! ECW! The only wrestling company that I’d drive four hours to watch! ECW! They revolutionized the way we watched professional wrestling! ECW! They didn’t only depend on bloody violence, you know! ECW! If you really like a wrestler in the WWF right now, he/she probably cut his/her teeth in ECW! ECW! Those last few months were really bad! ECW! They gave us Yoshihiro Tajiri kicking people in the head on prime time cable! ECW! That Paul E. Dangerously knows his stuff, he does color commentary on Monday Night RAW now! ECW! They sure are broke! ECW! Did you know that wrestling could be beautiful and dramatic and violent at the same time! ECW! I didn’t know that until I starting watching! ECW!
I suppose this could be considered a situation akin to great artists not being appreciated in their lifetime, though Extreme Championship Wrestling did have a pretty dedicated hardcore following (of which I once counted myself a member). The dust is settling on the bankruptcy settlement, most of the ECW wrestlers are now comfortably nestled in the WWF hierarchy, making pretty good money, and the cry of “ECW” seemed destined to go softly into that good night. But what’s this? Suddenly a flood of ECW-related product is flooding the market! Besides some essential DVDs and videos, you’ve got this little gem – a sort of soundtrack to the chaos that is ECW. Wrestlers are matched up with songs by nu-metal up-and-comers, y’see, canny marketing all around. Just for fun, let’s see which wrestlers are in the WWF now – Paul E. Dangerously, Jerry Lynn, Rhino (now Rhyno, sigh), Tajiri, and Spike Dudley, pretty good showing. Everyone else – Mikey Whipwreck, Nova, Dawn Marie, Steve Corino, Sinister Minister, New Jack – are doing dates on the indie circuit, so keep an eye out.
Yep, one last fond look• what’s that? Whaddya mean I have to listen to the record? I fucking hate this shitty-ass rap teen metal bollocks! You mean I have to lower myself to mentioning the likes of Powerman 5000, Linkin Park, Disturbed, Cold, Coal Chamber, and Static X? I have to talk about how FM Racket did the definitive pussy white rock cover of Ice Cube/Dr. Dre’s “Natural Born Killers”? Or how about Chimaira’s castrated take on Accept’s “Balls to the Wall”? Or even how the high point of the record is Rob (shudder) Zombie? Sure, sure, I’ll do it, but only because I still feel kinda loyal to ECW• Buy it for the pictures, and thanks for the memories.
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