GOOFINESS REVIEW
by James MacLaren
Girls Who Are Constantly Tugging At The Rear End Of Incredibly
Short Shorts.</h3>
Ah yes, the hot breezes of summer. Brings out the cuties in droves. Everybody
wants to go to the beach.
And, of course, when the weather’s warm the requirements for clothing diminish.
Add the beach angle, and the knockout babes are all dressed for show. And when I
say show, I mean skin.
On the beach itself, a skimpy two-piece is the recipe of choice.
Walking along the sidewalk in front of the store, it seems as if the bikini top
is still ok, but there’s a little something wrong with the bottom, and so almost
all the girls are wearing these weency little skin tight shorts that don’t even
quite make it down far enough to cover the bottoms of their butt cheeks.
All of which is just fine and dandy with me.
Except for that certain fraction of the girls (at least half of ‘em) who for
some inexplicable reason, seem to think that perhaps the shorts are TOO short.
This leads in several directions.
First of all, why did you buy the damn things and then put them on for a stroll
around the block if you REALLY think they’re too short?
Second of all, disregarding the logical difficulties expressed immediately
above, what in the hell is going on with all that damn tugging at the rear lower
hems on them silly assed shorts anyhow?
We’ve all seen this one in action: Girl with cute wiggly butt CONSTANTLY tugging
at the bottoms of her shorts in back as if to pull them down and cover a little
more of that cute wiggly butt. (Note: This also occurs with the bikini bottom
down on the beach itself, but it doesn’t seem to be as pronounced.)
The fucking shorts have exactly NOTHING by way of extra material, to cover
anything larger than a standard size molecule of beer. Any butt that gets extra
coverage below is immediately and irrevocably paid for by additional butt
exposed at the top.
Is top butt less embarrassing to expose to the public than bottom butt? If so,
why? Write a five-hundred word comparison and contrast essay to explain.
Spelling and penmanship will count toward your final grade.
Do any of these girls actually BELIEVE that they’re somehow covering up more of
their butt? If so, where do they think the extra material is coming from?
We’re not talking spandex here people, we’re talking nylon or cotton. Neither of
which is known for it’s stretchiness.
Do these girls just like fiddling around with the bottoms of their butts? If so,
what the hell’s going on with that? I’m not too sure I even want to pursue that
little angle any farther. Things could get really weird in a hurry.
Somebody help me out here with this one.
It’s driving me bats.
