Music Reviews


Blues Moderne: Danois Explosifs


Famous dead English person Billy “Tha Bard” Shakespeare once said, “What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.”

Now, I don’t exactly know what the hell that all means, but I do know the basic rules about naming your band.

Fact: An educated person knows about 20,000 words of the English language.

Fact: There are probably a whole shitload more than 20,000 bands playing music right now.

Fact: Very few of those bands are composed of educated people.

Unless your band is named pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, do not give your band a one word name! A much better band in a much cooler town has probably used it already.

When I was commissioned to review “Lack,” I was certain I was going to get to deconstruct the latest CD by brilliant Columbus, OH industrial-hardcore outfit The Lack. Nope, I got the latest Victory Records-aping scream-fest from some pompous European hardcore band. This Lack has an essay in their liner notes and oh-so-hardcore psuedo-intellectual song titles like “When Even the Most Honest of Emotions Turns Into a Commodity” and “Falling From the Peak of Truth to the Catastrophe of the Disillusioned.”

These guys are tight as nails, though. I can’t help but wonder what would happen if they spent less time practicing and more time thinking up a better name.

Stickfigure Records:

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