Because I’m no better than anybody else
…it’s time for my thoughts on Oscar pics. In honor of Bill Murray’s nomination, I’m going to do this the way he used to do them on Saturday Night Live, completely dismissing films and performances on the grounds that I haven’t seen them. That’s my excuse, anyway. It also leads to the complete absence of the actress in a leading role category–I haven’t seen any of the performances. That’s not sexism, I haven’t seen any of the actors in a supporting role either.
The nominations are:
BEST PICTURE
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
LOST IN TRANSLATION
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
MYSTIC RIVER
SEABISCUIT
My choice? The Lord Of The Rings. That sound you’ll hear on Oscar night is about a billion people all saying “Well, duh” at once. Also see: ART DIRECTION, COSTUME DESIGN & VISUAL EFFECTS. That said, should Lost In Translation pull a surprise upset, you won’t hear me screaming too loudly.
Achievement in Directing
Fernando Meirelles for CITY OF GOD
Peter Jackson for THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
Peter Weir for MASTER & COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
Sofia Coppola for LOST IN TRANSLATION
Clint Eastwood for MYSTIC RIVER
My choice? An even bigger “Well, duh” for Jackson, and even less of a chance that you’ll hear me complaining if Coppola wins.
ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Johnny Depp – PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
Ben Kingsley – HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG
Jude Law – COLD MOUNTAIN
Bill Murray – LOST IN TRANSLATION
Sean Penn – MYSTIC RIVER
My choice? Bill Murray. However, there is at least half of me that hopes Johnny Depp wins. It would also be cool to see the people who put his mascara on win for MAKEUP.
ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Shohreh Aghdashloo – HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG
Patricia Clarkson – PIECES OF APRIL
Marcia Gay Harden – MYSTIC RIVER
Holly Hunter – THIRTEEN
Renee Zellweger – COLD MOUNTAIN
I’m gonna go with Hunter, because although the good but overrated film purports to be about her daughter and friend, she’s really the heart of it. She puts more into her brave performance than seems to be there on the page (and you know you won’t often hear me say that about an actor). Also, she’s a babe, and, oh yeah, it’s the only one of these I’ve seen.
Best Original Screenplay
THE BARBARIAN INVASIONS by Denys Arcand
DIRTY PRETTY THINGS by Steven Knight
FINDING NEMO by Andrew Stanton, Bob Peterson and David Reynolds
IN AMERICA Written by Jim Sheridan, Naomi Sheridan and Kirsten Sheridan
LOST IN TRANSLATION by Sofia Coppola
My choice? Finding Nemo, though I won’t–actually, yes, I will scream and complain if Lost in Translation wins this one. Also my choice for ANIMATED FEATURE FILM.
MUSIC (SCORE)
BIG FISH
COLD MOUNTAIN
FINDING NEMO
HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
My choice? Finding Nemo. Return of the King is a close second, and I wish they’d nominated “The Steward of Gondor” featuring Billy Boyd as best song instead of Annie Lennox’s emotionally barren “Into The West,” but what are you gonna do? Nemo, on the other hand, passes the test of being even better on CD than it is with the film.
WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)
AMERICAN SPLENDOR
CITY OF GOD
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
MYSTIC RIVER
SEABISCUIT
My choice? An honest-to-god, split-right-down-the-middle tie between American Splendor & The Lord of the Rings. Although very different, both merit awards.
Feel free to tell me I’m an idiot about any of these in the comments. And BTW, if you want to see an unnamed director acting like a pompous ass, pick up the Oscar-pick issue of Entertainment Weekly and read these gems:
(on Lost in Translation) “Aristotle had a thing called ‘catharsis’: At the end of the picture something should happen. What happened? It’s a picture about two losers who go home to losing situations.”
(on Peter Jackson and Rings) “There is no humanity. There is no love. There is nothing except hobbits that run around.”
