The Moaners

The Moaners

The Moaners

Dark Snack

Yep Roc

Take the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, give Karen O a guitar, get rid of Nick Zimmer and make the drummer a female, and you have The Moaners. Except, Karen and her crew have talent that is far superior to The Moaners. Guitarist and vocalist (she’s certainly not a singer) Melissa Swingle and drummer Laura King make dirty and occasionally bluesy garage rock in the vein of that band down the road that still hasn’t quite figured out that loud doesn’t mean good. Each song is a lesson in torture. “Too Many People” repeats a seemingly never-ending chorus (“There’s too many people”), until the listener begins to wonder if the band has too many people.

“Terrier” is one of the worst songs that I have ever heard. It is all about how she will only have a terrier for a dog. What the hell??!! “Beagles are stinky/I wouldn’t have one/There’s just one kind to stay away from.” Those are lyrics? Or how about, “Don’t pretend to be my friend/I’ll kick you if you bite me again?!” That’s something I make up to amuse my son. And I at least hit a note or two. Swingle couldn’t hit a note with a Mack truck. And the way the song ends is even worse. Swingle gives a quick bark into the microphone. Ironically, that’s the only time that she remotely hits any note on the entire album. I’m sure the dogs are somehow supposed to represent men.

The rest of Dark Snack is just as bad. Horrible lyrics spewed from one of the most annoying vocalists this side of Linda Perry and simple chords drown out the only good thing about the album, the beats provided by King. Without King, this album would be one of the top five worst albums ever. As it stands, it’s one of the top ten worst.

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