Inbred Redneck Vampires

Inbred Redneck Vampires

Inbred Redneck Vampires

directed by Joe Sherlock

starring Bill Bradford, Scott Shanks, Rob Merickel

SRS Cinema

Every crappy movie should be this enjoyable. Out in rural Backwash, Washington, vampire Catherine (Erin Arbogast) and her familiar Lendel (Warren E.B.B.) are on the run. They settle near Ma and Pa Poissier (Carrie Davis and Mike Heggs), who won a contest in “Bull Inseminating and Room Decorating Monthly” magazine and their bathroom will be redecorated by French interior decorator and vampire hunter Jean-Claude Les Eaux (Shanks). He moves in, meets their well-endowed daughter Eva Poissier (Lindsey A. Hope), and joins li’l Junior Poissier (Merickel) in peeping on the neighbor woman in the shower. Li’l Junior can urinate like a fire hose, and his dwarfish buddy Cletus (Bradford) can down beer by simply opening his gullet. They may be uneducated, but they do have skills. Tripe Days loom, and Ma Poissier is determined to win the tripe cooking contest against her archenemy, Eunice Peterson (Dee Alsman). Her baker’s secret? Cinnamon. Yummy! If only the rest of the town hadn’t turned into vampires.

OK, it’s low budget crap, but it’s some of the finest low budget crap ever filmed. Originally released in 2004 as Bloodsucking Redneck Vampires, you can see bits of the original title in some of the special features. Most of the actors are so wooden you could drive them through Catherine’s heart, but there are flashes of 14-karat-gold-filled brilliance. Whenever Bradford’s Cletus is on screen, he can pull your attention away from Eva’s cleavage with his distorted waddle and even more distorted beans and beer-fueled temper. He’s a great contrast to Shanks’s mix of Euro snobbery and latent bisexuality, and JP maintains his fakey accent though the barrage of beans and tripe jokes that fill the air. Li’l Jr. Poissier might well be an actual redneck, but I can tell he’s been to acting school. The real rednecks in the film sound like they’re reading their lines off the back bar — many of the cast were locals working for free beer and what counts for fame in the rural Cascades. My least favorite “pro” here is Ms. Arbogast as the arrogant vampire; she feels forced and rather dry.

I admit I love lurid titles like Inbred Redneck Vampires, and of course most of THAT sort of film is as awful as your mother imagined it. However, this flick is a pleasant exception, and while it’s no Uwe Boll film, it’s packed with believable cartoonish characters, plenty of fart jokes, topless women, and redneck stereotypes that actually draw sincere laughter and not just Dogpatch condescension. Rent this one for the title, but watch it for the comedy.

SRS Cinema: www.srscinema.com

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked with *

Recently on Ink 19...

  • The Reading Room
    The Reading Room

    Today’s episode features author Anna-Marie O’Brien talking about her book Adventures of a Metalhead Librarian: A Rock N’ Roll Memoir with Ink 19’s Rose Petralia.

  • Bush Tetras
    Bush Tetras

    Rhythm and Paranoia (Wharf Cat). Review by Scott Adams.

  • Tom Tom Club
    Tom Tom Club

    The Good The Bad and the Funky (Nacional). Review by Julius C. Lacking.

  • Barnes & Barnes
    Barnes & Barnes

    Pancake Dream (Demented Punk Records). Review by Carl F. Gauze.

  • Jeremiah Lockwood
    Jeremiah Lockwood

    A Great Miracle: Jeremiah Lockwood’s Guitar Soli Chanukah Album (Reboot). Review by Bob Pomeroy.

  • Metallica: The $24.95 Book
    Metallica: The $24.95 Book

    From an underground band that pioneered the thrash metal sound, to arguably the biggest rock act in the new millennium, Metallica has had a long and tumultuous history. Ben Apatoff scours a myriad of sources to catalog this history in his new book.

  • Araceli Lemos
    Araceli Lemos

    Shortly after AFI Fest 2021 wrapped, Generoso spoke at length with director, Araceli Lemos about her award-winning and potent feature debut, Holy Emy. Lemos’s film uses elements of body horror in her story about the exoticization of two Filipina sisters living in Greece and how that exploitation creates a distance between them.

  • Southern Accents 55
    Southern Accents 55

    A woofin’ good time with cuts from Hank Williams, Muddy Waters, Delta Moon and more from KMRD 96.9, Madrid, New Mexico!

  • Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
    Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

    Absurdism with a healthy dose of air conditioning.

  • Mixtape 172 :: My Old Bassist
    Mixtape 172 :: My Old Bassist

    Like pre-teens throwing every liquid into the kitchen blender and daring each other to drink the results, Woody and Jeremy fuse all manner of sounds legitimate and profane into some murky concoction that tastes surprisingly good.

From the Archives