The Deal
Nigeria Drops Bribery Charges Against Former Vice President Dick Cheney
Anyone who doesn’t think Obama had something to do with this, raise your hand. Ok, you’re excused.
For the rest of us, it was no surprise that “legally dead Dick” never had to face the music for bribes committed under his tenure at Halliburton. Just as it was no aha moment when Wikileaks showed us the true face of “bipartisanship” when they revealed how Obama and his cohorts in non-accountability -the GOP- squashed the Spanish inquiry into the Bush Administration’s record of torture policies.
So now we have this little gadfly Darrell Issa all rev’d up to investigate the “most corrupt President in recent times”. Issa must have just awoken from a decade-long nap, having obviously missed the Bush Administration committing treason, war crimes, and shoveling money to cronies on pallets in the desert. Nope, he missed all that. (He’s served since 2001).
Now, if I were Obama, I’d have a big smile on my face. Short of a primary challenge from Hillary- who he installed as SoS to keep her out of the running- Obama faces no serious threat to re-election, sad as it is. The GOP suffers not from a lack of candidates, the problem is, everybody knows ‘em- and hates ‘em. Palin, who has everyone fooled- well, everyone on Fox and Facebook anyway- that she’s electable. Ha. Not a chance. The rest? The laughably hypocritical Newt has been rejected by the American public since well, forever. Huckabee and Romney? Huckabee is too piously devout for the majority of America, and Mitt, well, he can’t run against himself, which he would be if the words “health care” ever spilled from his lips, so see ya later Romney. Nope, Obama, without even really trying hard, will be sitting pretty in a few years. Democrats are a disparate group, but they can be motivated by the very real fears of “them”, even when their own guy is just as culpable. They’ll show up.
So if I were Obama, here’s what I’d do. I’d get Issa, Boehner, that turtle looking fellow, and maybe a few more GOP shining lights, and sit em down in the Oval Office. I’d put my feet up on THEIR desk, and light me a smoke- simply because you’d know it would piss ‘em off- and say something like this:
“Here’s the deal. You know and I know what went on in this office- and this city- for the eight years before me. And more importantly, the rest of the world knows. And so far, nobody has had to account for anything.
You’re welcome.
So here’s the nut of it all. Issa? You can run your little Fox News “investigations” for say, about a week. Get some face time on the boob tube, vow continued investigating, and scuttle off. And Orange Man? I’m gonna get my judges, and a few other things, and you ain’t gonna say diddly squat.
Because if you do, I’ll instruct our Department of Justice and the FBI to begin to cooperate with any international attempt to investigate Bush and Congress- including myself- for violations of international law. Scorched earth, baby. I’ll get bruised, but not much- but you guys? You’ll never be elected again.
Try me.”</em>
Now, I fully understand that such a thing can’t occur- for one thing, it ain’t up to Obama or the GOP who is the next president will be- but I can see a Nixon or a Johnson trying it, and we ain’t that far removed from then, in many ways. And I’m not saying this should happen- Obama, like every president since Reagan, is a war criminal, for starters- but to spend two years listening to a bunch of phonies parade around nipping at the heels of Obama’s Nikes is really too much for this piss broke, whipped like a dirty dog nation to stand. Give us a frackin’ break already.
So, much as I dislike ya Obama? Do the deal. Quash them like the bugs they are. Because as odiously inept as the Democrats are, they don’t leave a slime trail like the GOP. So, to steal a term, man up and dunk on their ass.
