All Mail Review

All Mail Review

Eternally Yours

Damon of The Eternals here. Just read The Eternals review online. Needless to say, I didn’t think it really captured what we do. Come on… I respect criticism, but I was left just thinking that Brain is a jerk for blowing off actually writing a review. Instead, I was treated to a string of clever insults. Well, no matter. Just thought I’d drop a note. No harm done.

Have a nice day,

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[Brian Kruger responds]: It’s OK for Damon to think I’m a jerk, or to think my review didn’t capture what The Eternals do. Those are fair criticisms, but obviously, I think the review was fair as well. I couldn’t find a way to say that I found The Eternals’ CD tedious and long-winded that he probably would’ve liked. But a string of clever insults? Read the review — other than reflecting on the music that I didn’t particularly care for, there’s no insults there. It’s not all that clever, either.

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When I read your review, it just got under my skin a little, so I had to drop a little note (probably the part about The Gang of Four losing whatever singing talent they ever had did the most ego damage). Thank you for replying. Your jerk status has been revoked. You didn’t like our record, and life goes on.

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Another Fiery Invective

Hey, I’m sure you’ll be checking back for battle fare, so here’s a warm shout out to all the 12-year-old militant defenders of the gods (deity band A.F.I., of course). I haven’t laughed that hard in a while. When you kids finally pass seventh grade English class, I hope you get celebratory “passionate kick ass hardcore” A.F.I. band photo tattoos on your asses. Kudos to you fans — keeping it real. Never mind that the world is begging you to stay illiterate. Those masters of “beautiful composition, vocabulary, and symbolism” don’t need you to ward of reviewers — they sent the fucking CD in! Anyway, thanks for contributuing to the unbelievable stench of idiotic shit that keeps my world interesting. All your brain are belong to us…


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That’s it, Natalie — taunt them! We’ve almost got enough material for the book…

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I love you Mary Janes

Phil Bailey,

Recently caught your review of The Mary Janes’ new record at So glad you liked the record. I wanted to take a moment and thank you for giving it a listen and taking the time to write up the review. Much appreciated.

Take care,

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[Phil Bailey responds]: You are most welcome. It’s always nice to get a mention from the artist. So often, reviewers only hear about their work when someone doesn’t like what is said. Thank you notes are always appreciated.

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More kind words?

Hi Dave Aftandilian,

I am Jeanne,the singer from Rajna,and I would like to thank you for the fabulous review you’ve done.

Best regards,

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[Dave Aftandilian responds]: Thank you for the beautiful music, and for writing to let me know you enjoyed my review. I hope Rajna’s other two albums find a U.S. distributor soon — I’d love to review them too!

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Oh, now you’re just gonna turn our heads…

Hi Julio Diaz,

Thank you for your review of [The Beatings’] 6hz. I appreciate your insight into what our band is all about. It’s something I have been trying to articulate for a while now, and it is truly gratifying to see it in print!

Thanks again for taking the time to write us up in your fine, fine publication. I will keep you in the loop on all things Beatings.


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[Julio Diaz responds]: Thanks for the kind words, Tony. I’m a big fan of the whole era of music you seem to take inspiration from, and it’s really nice to see someone finally building on that. I’ll look forward to seeing what The Beatings do next!

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You like us! You really, really like us!

Dear Julio Diaz,

That was an incredibly perceptive review of Meet the Tyrants in Therapy. Thanks for your inspired words. Amazingly, you made reading about the CD fresh again (no mean feat, since we spent about 12 years making it!).

Thanks again,

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[Julio Diaz responds]: Thank yo for the kind words, Michael! Your record is certainly one of the more unique discs to cross my desk, and I found that really refreshing. I think it takes a certain twisted sense of humor to appreciate where you’re coming from. Luckily, taht’s a world view several of us at Ink 19 share, and I’ve already gotten a few other staffers into your CD…

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Back to reality… or someone’s sheltered version of it, anyway…

Why don’t you go to hell! Static-X is one of the greatest industrial rock bands ever! In fact,they ARE the greatest! Now I don’t know [who] you said they are trying to copy. Never heard of them. That’s because they suck! They didn’t make it anywhere because their sound sucked! Wayne is the best and that’s why you can go to hell for trash talking them.

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We love it when readers make our case for us. Thank you for proving our point. Besides, it’s since been established that it’s Ministry that Static-X are really trying to clone…

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We love to get your letters!

We love to receive e-mail! If you’ve got a compliment, a complaint, or just want to tell us to go to hell (like our new friend above), please drop us a line at We assume all letters are intended for publication unless otherwise specified, and reserve the right to edit letters for content, clarity, and space concerns (without changing the intent of the writer). Don’t forget to let us know what article you’re writing in reference to!

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