“jerk_police”

The Jerk Police

Brett Martin, Lowly Intern

Jerks with badges. That’s right: I am talking about the police, the boys in blue that like to pull you over and then make stupid charges and even stupider jokes, and you end up paying for both. It seems that every time that the law and I have a conflict of interest, they seem to make stupid allegations and wisecracks that only other cops tend to find funny. Now I am not a hostile or ill-tempered person, in fact I happen to be quite the opposite, but when I see unjust action going on and lame jokes being said, I can’t help but to speak up. I know that the police are there to help us, and I am glad about that, but help; don’t make or poke fun at me because my hair is different or my music is too loud.

I was doing some research on this subject – if you call watching Cops research – and I found out that cops are two-faced jerks. They are putting on an act for the camera because they are all official in the car, but as soon as the suspect is being beaten over the head with the end of a flashlight, no more Mr. Nice Guy.

I remember last year, there was this all-day skate show/concert. Well, toward the middle of it, it was time for the skating contest, but one of the skaters wouldn’t get off of the course, so the judge went out to throw the guy out. And the guy attacks the judge with his skateboard, and a fight broke out! At this point security rushed in to break up the fight, but since the security wasn’t labeled “security,” the bike police called for back up and started spraying every one with that pepper spray stuff! Even the people that were just sitting by and watching! Now, were they doing their job now, or were they? If inciting a riot is a police officer’s job, then yes. If the police would have just waited to respond like they do most of the time (not at all) then there wouldn’t have been a big hubbub.

The other problem that happens to most people driving expensive cars or if you happen to be black here in the United States, is that the cops will pull you over for crazy and foolish reasons like: under-inflated tires, improper lane change, or that they fit a certain type of description that the police hope to get from doing this type of harassment. I don’t personally have to worry about this because I am not black or drive an expensive car but you hear about it on the radio and read it in the paper.

It is important to realize that not all cops are jerks, in fact some are nice. We hardly see the good ones that aren’t about on the streets patrolling because they get the good jobs as dispatchers and public relations officers.

I also dislike meter maids, and rent-a-cops. ◼