Cat Dissections

Orlando (Part Last)


A late night downtown. Almost made it to the car…

“Hey…yeah you…You believe in vampires?”

Awww fuck…not now…but what can you do–but bite?

“Yeah sure…occasionally.”

“That’s good…right good. I just met this guy tonight wearing fake fangs…told me he don’t believe in vampires–that it was just for fun. Now that don’t make a bit a sense cause you gotta think to yourself- where did the idea of vampires come from? Couldn’t a’ come from nowhere right?…so there must be something out there, and ya know what?”

Not a fucking clue, “What’s that?”

“I know where they come from.”

Why not, “Where’s that?”


Oh yeah…makes sense.

A bum comes up to me and asks for a cigarette. I offer him a clove and he refuses…Dirty fucking bum, won’t condescend to smoke a clove cigarette…he don’t got a god damn place to sleep and won’t smoke one of my god damn cigarettes…how unamerican is that?…

The vampire watcher continues…

“You know I’m wiccan and I know about this shit. I’m in touch with nature…had all my chakra’s opened by those who know…If you ever want to know about this shit, I can’t show you–but I can show you the way. Go see this old lady at this store called Herbs and Leaves…She’s the real shit if you know what I mean…”

From my limited experience, I’ve found that vampires are mostly stupid creatures, pathological liars, and are usually only dangerous in packs. They come in all kinds–mostly white trash genre around here–but can be much more dangerous at higher levels. You don’t want to fuck around with any lone wolves on a fuckin’ mission. They are seductive and their danger is directly proportional to this seductiveness, unless…

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