Magnetic Bracelets Might Stop Some Spam
David Whited
Have you tried magnetic therapy?
You can get magnetic wristbands, insoles for your shoes, mattress pads, and any number of magnetic accessories. Magnets are said to enhance the body’s healing process.
Do they work?
Who knows?
Like so many other “natural remedies,” these items are now mainstream. You don’t have to buy them at flea markets, or in back alleys. I’ve seen these items in local discount and drug stores. People claim that they work. Radio ads even say as much.
I’ve seen 100-year-old advertisements for magnetic therapy. That’s right. Magnetic therapy was popular 100 years ago. Maybe it was a little different, and maybe they weren’t doing it right back then, but the theory of using magnets as a healing tool was something that all the rage during your great-grandfather’s lifetime. Magnetic therapy also fell out of favor during his lifetime. Why didn’t the use of these continue?
You figure it out.
Back in the early ’70s, copper bracelets were touted as a cure for arthritis. They became quite popular for awhile. What happened to these?
You figure it out. I’ll just assume that the green stain they left on the wrist of the wearer probably hastened the demise of these.
Why do people believe in all this stuff? Because they want to. People want to believe in get-well-quick schemes just as much as they want to believe in get-rich-quick schemes.
People want to believe that Bill Gates and Disney are going to partner up and track your e-mail, and somehow figure out how to send you a nice little check for every message that you forward.
People are basically lazy.
If you get e-mail at all, you probably have already gotten an message saying something to the effect that “Hot, Horny 19-Year-Old Babes Want You!” Do you reckon that they really do? Maybe they do. Who knows? Maybe these “babes” are just as lazy as you are.
Lazy people forward you all of those e-mails that tell you all that mess about kidney harvesting, the Microsoft-Disney e-mail tracking project, and all sorts of other junk email. If your e-mailbox is like mine, it’s constantly being populated with crap from lazy people.
Lazy people don’t write personal messages.
You might get a “I thought this was SO funny” from a lazy person, or you might get a warning about dying from touching some payphone that is contaminated with some sort of death powder.
Just because these people are lazy, that doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. Sure they care. They don’t want you to die. They don’t even want people who they don’t know to die, and even if you do die, they wanna make sure that you are right with Jesus when you do.
You do know that by forwarding that inspirational e-mail to twenty people, you’ll earn your crown in heaven, don’t you? So just do it. What can it hurt? Surely your chances of going to hell are greater if you don’t. What if you get to heaven and St Peter opens the book and says, “Remember that e-mail that testified how much Jesus meant to you? Why didn’t you send it on?” Just like herbal remedies – if it doesn’t have any bad known side effects, why not try it?
I won’t go as far as saying that magnetic bracelets and all those herbs that you can buy over-the-counter don’t work. I might get sued if I did. Besides, I’m sure that many of these herbs and items probably have some limited benefit, but you really do need to research all of this stuff before devoting your time or money to it. Hearing an advertisement on radio for it doesn’t mean that it works. Hearing a testimony from a friend may not either. It’s just possible that your friend has wasted a lot of time or money on it themselves, and they want so hard to believe they didn’t that they’ll pull you into it too – just like they do with some of those e-mails.
I’ve tried time and time again to teach some of my friends about those magic cures and those urban legend e-mails. Some of them just won’t listen.
It’s no wonder.
It’s hard to prove that the herbal remedies don’t work. People want to believe, and besides, people already know that there is a herb out there that has several legitimate medical uses that the government refuses to formally recognize by decriminalizing it. Why should that Ginkodildoa herbal sex enhancer be any different? And hey – it’s legal. That must mean something.
I’m no herbalist or research chemist, so I can’t help you with validating the usefulness of the herbs. You’ll have to investigate that stuff for yourself. As for the weird e-mails that people ask you to forward, that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish.
Check these sites before you forward anything to anyone. It’ll save you lots of money. You do know that the Postal Service has a bill before Congress that’s gonna make you go back and pay postage on every e-mail that you’ve ever sent – don’t you?
Some Urban Legends Reference Pages
