Coachwhips

Coachwhips

Get Yer Body Next Ta Mine

Narnack

“Hey, I’m going to Walmart; does anybody need me to get anything,” yelled an urgent Jane, as she grabbed her purse and put on her shoes.

“Yeah,” said Bill. “Could you pick me up a third rate, imitation Jon Spencer Blues Explosion CD, one that reeks of insincerity and hipster posturing?”

“Well, sure I can! But I don’t have to go to Walmart for that,” said Jane with a smile from ear to ear. “Take my copy of Get Yer Body Next Ta Mine. Not only is it what you’re looking for, but it can also act as a handsome beverage coaster or colorful ashtray!”

Yes, boys and girls, you’ll definitely need to be sporting your sunglasses and your most bored and disinterested face when you listen to Get Yer•. While it may no longer be the late 1990s, a time when there were a zillion bands that sounded like The Coachwhips, it apparently means little to these guys. I’d compare these guys to Chrome Cranks or The Make Up (without the soul or fun). Where those bands actually rocked, though, there is little rockin’ on this record. It seems more like an excuse for the guys in the band to show how hip and cool they are. The guitars are really generic and uninspired, the drums sound like they’re coming from a tin can and the vocals are just a typical hunk of garage rock cheese.

This is seriously a crappy record. Whenever I hear something that sucks this bad, or when I see a terrible movie that never should have been made (Daredevil, for example), I always wonder what a wonderful world we would live in if someone would just stop the madness and put the money wasted on pieces of crap like this to good use. Imagine taking the money that it cost to make this record and serving a meal to the homeless, or cleaning up an inner city park, or donating the cash to a poor school district. Instead we have these mooks pretending to be Jon Spencer. The world heaves a heavy sigh.

Narnack Records: http://www.narnackrecords.com/

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