Straight No Chaser

CD Review – The Original Cyndi (Hint: this album sucks balls)

(Title Unknown)


Reasons why this album sucks like an 8-lb. Oreck:

  1. I’m not sure what the title of the album is. On the left spine is just the name of the band (possible self-titled album). On the right spine is “Abort Last Next Quit” which would be a really stupid title. And on the left front is “Command[TL=00:00:]:” which would be an even more ridiculous title.

  1. It vaguely resembles music. There is a beat to the songs, but the singer just kind of talks/sings/yells in a Joe-Stummer-crossed-with-Marilyn-Manson kind of way. Tracks like “Locals on the 8” and “(Tales of) Unnecessary Surgery” are more like speeches with a simple drum beat in the background. I couldn’t get through the 17-track 44-minute eternity.

  1. The cover has picture of some guy in his tighty-whiteys. The picture is cropped from the waist down. I really don’t want to see some anonymous dude’s bulge, especially when the cover predicts exactly what the album is going to sound like.

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