Tiny Masters of Today
The great thing about early punk was that a complete lack of skill made no real impact on your chances of getting a record deal. Tiny Masters of Today recaptures that raw element and adds the classic novelty aspect of an underage brother and sister act whose adult supervision consists of a too-young-to-drink drummer and a Mixerman-style engineer. The result sound more like the random 45’s I used to buy on Melrose Avenue: The Germs, Jeanie and the Weenies, Flipper, and the Pink Negros would blend right in with these kids.
While Ivan and Ada are this week’s Next Big Thing, I recommend reading the incredibly effusive press release on the Mute site. It compares the band to “a fuzz tone Cheap Trick circa ‘He’s A Whore’ produced by Phil Spector if his Wall Of Sound was daubed with graffiti.” After that line, it manages to become even more outrageous. I hate to talk about the publicist instead of the band, but that’s what this is really all about — making as big a splash as possible with as little talent as possible. No that there’s no talent here; but talent is just not the issue. It’s outrageousness that propels this group. Lines like “Abercrombie Zombie” and “Destructive Automotive When I’m Mad at You” just piles absurdity upon absurdity until your only response is: “Sure…why not?”
I’ve sat through concerts with bands much worse than these kids, and I hope they can leverage this early success into a decent life, and not a Danny Bonaduce burn out in a Phoenix dive bar. While referring to these tykes as “Masters” may be an exaggeration, they have a fearless quality that comes not from compositional skills, but from their ability to capture and rearrange pop culture as it drips into them from the Internet IV. That’s what saved us from over-produced Stadium Rock and threw us into the stripped down hyperdrive of Punk. Perhaps Alt-Indie-Rock has run its course, and it’s time for a new sound. It might just come out of the guitar picks of babes.