But Obama, think of the strippers!
The Government Accountability Office has a suggestion to help the federal government save on average $184 million dollars a year–replace the dollar bill with a dollar coin.
According to the report, dollar bills have a shorter lifespan than dollar coins because they wear much faster, which in turn requires the government to spend more to print new bills. The change would take four years to see savings but could add up to $5.5 billion dollars in savings over the next 30 years.</em>
Barry, I know you’re getting beat up on this budget thing, and I appreciate that ya have to think outside the box sometimes, but lets ease up on this replace the dollar bill notion. First off, everybody hates dollar coins. We get those when we buy stamps from a machine (WITH BILLS!) and generally toss them into a bowl with the rest of the change, never to be seen again. Secondly, I really doubt it would save over 5 billion dollars over 30 years, but even if it did- so what? You’d save that much by switching from double to single ply toilet paper in national parks. If any are still open in 30 years, that is.
But beyond all that, you’re going to wipe out an industry that many people need so desperately in these trying times…strippers. Now, I dunno if you’ve ever been, but these women parade around in front of a bunch of pathetic goons with fistfulls of dollar bills. And for a buck, they get to touch a genuine naked lady, if only long enough to slide that sweaty dollar bill under a garter or a G-string. Now no woman is gonna want Fat Larry pressing some stupid dollar coin into her flesh, not to mention that once the DJ cranks up “You Can Leave Your Hat On” (the strippers national anthem, I think…), and she takes few spins around that pole, heavy dollar coins are going be flying…might put some poor drunks eye out. Insurance is gonna skyrocket. Because Obama, America needs strippers. Strippers keep a chunk of men off the streets and away from the rest of us for hours each night. And the fines from the resultant DUIs raises local tax revenue, so really, strippers are a win-win, all the way around.
All kidding aside, if anyone in our imperial Federal government spent more than 30 seconds on this bullshit notion, fire ‘em now. And its been brought up for years, which means for years we’ve had some mighty clueless ijits in Washington. (I know, I know, I’m being redundant). Whip out your calculator and add up what 30 fucking years of occupying Afghanistan is gonna cost. Or ethanol. Or tax breaks to oil companies. (STFU, Joe Barton). Go ahead, add that shit up, and when you’re done? Take one of those dollar coins…and stick it where the sun don’t shine. As long as the government wastes the majority of the money it gets, don’t be dicking around with what little money us common folk get to play with. Morans.
You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on</em>