Garage Sale Vinyl: Alice Cooper
Killer / Warner Bros. / November 1971
by Christopher Long
One of my all-time fave flicks is the largely overlooked 1982 cult classic, Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains. Featuring acting performances from members of the Pistols and the Clash as well as a convincing early lead role performance from then-16 year old actress Diane Lane, it’s a must-see for any rock aficionado of the era. In the film, there’s a particular scene where Lou Corpse, a heavy metal has-been played famously by Tubes frontman Fee Waybill, sits in a sad dressing room prepping for a performance at a run-down Midwest VFW hall. Schooling aspiring teenage rocker Corinne Burns (Lane), the washed-up dinosaur (Corpse) confesses while applying Simmons-style makeup, “There’s nothing new, honey.”
With that in mind, you gotta get a kick out of the young people. Today’s Google machine maestros remain laser-focused on their uniquely complicated modern-day social issues as they look down their noses at those unsophisticated old people at the used record store. Outta my way, Gramps! I gotta grab these Frigid Pink and Miles Davis LPs. YOU wouldn’t understand! Just last week, I noticed two giddy teenage girls holding hands while parading through my neighborhood super-center. Sporting matchy-matchy kindergarten-style Japanese anime backpacks, they giggled and grinned from ear-to-ear, as if they’d stumbled upon something new. Ooh, Ashley, look at us! We’re GIRLS, holding hands — at Target! We’re like, SO shocking!
What many hipsters often fail to realize is that vinyl ain’t a new thing. It’s actually been around since before the iPhone 3. GASP! In fact, the format was passed down from the ancestors of those unsophisticated old people at the used record store who couldn’t possibly “get” Billie Eilish. And as for Ashley and her teenage super-center sidekick, they were far from shocking. Truth be told, to me, their little show was sorta desperate. Kind of a yawner.
So, why am I personally completely unfazed, even downright bored in 2023 by the world’s “new” cultural awareness? ‘Cuz I was raised by the Alice Cooper band in the 1970s.
The album Killer was the cornerstone of my adolescent academic curriculum. As a result, today’s “shocking, controversial” clickbait — sexuality, addictions, gender identities, political perspectives, Kylie, Kendall, Kourtney, Kim and Khloé — all are pretty drab, tired topics. To quote that great American philosopher, Lou Corpse, “There’s nothing new, honey.”
As they say, “timeline is EVERYTHING,” and times were a-changing in 1971. Even Peter Brady’s voice was changing. Bras were burning, draft cards were burning, and kids got the right to vote. The telephone was ringing, and the time was right for something truly spectacular. Something ugly, yet beautiful. Something honest and pure, purged from the gutter of Anytown, U.S.A. Something gloriously absurd.
With their collective thumb placed firmly on the pulse of then-current culture, the Alice Cooper band, seemingly by accident, sparked a fabulous social dumpster fire in early 1971 with the surprise platinum-selling breakout record Love it to Death. Bold, brazen, and shamelessly irreverent, the Vaudeville-inspired, drag show-style circus freaks dropped their second platinum studio set, Killer, later that year. The album continues to be regarded by many qualified observers as the band’s all-time strongest effort. And when my nail tech recently GAVE me her ORIGINAL pressing of Killer (on ravaged vinyl), I was over the moon, as all of my previous physical copies had vanished over the years.
Overseen by legendary producer Bob Ezrin, the eight-song collection was a bona fide tour de force. The lead-off single, “Under My Wheels,” launched the record with screeching, unabashed, brass-injected cock rock swagger — The telephone is ringing, indeed! Equally cocky, yet a smidge more subtle, the second single, “Be My Lover,” owns one of the record’s greatest lines: She asked me why the singer’s name was Alice. I said, “Listen, baby, you really wouldn’t understand.”
The tragedy of Alice Cooper was that the schtick that made the band iconic — snakes, guillotines, straitjackets, freaky fashions — masked the fact that they actually were master musicians and brilliant songwriters. The dynamic guitar-slinging duo of Glen Buxton and Michael Bruce has yet to be matched. As a lifelong frustrated drummer, I will confirm that during the glory days, super-rockstar Neal Smith was America’s Keith Moon — only better and cooler. And simply put, Dennis Dunaway is THE greatest rock bass player. Ever. BTW, I’ll stand behind all of these statements confidently. Need proof of Alice Cooper’s uncompromised musical cred? Dig the eight-minute epic “Halo of Flies” and the seven-minute, record-closing title track.
While earnest rockers “You Drive Me Nervous” and “Yeah, Yeah, Yeah” endeared the band further to its enormous adoring youth audience, “Dead Babies” is a prime example of why the band also was despised universally by parents. However, for MY money, “Desperado” remains the record’s crown jewel. Brimming with mystique and polished to perfection with soaring orchestration, a strong case can be made for “Desperado” being the DEFINITIVE Alice Cooper composition. And I don’t deliver that endorsement casually.
“TIMELINE,” dude! Alice Cooper wasn’t birthed in a Live Nation boardroom. The band wasn’t formulated by a bunch of social media branding experts, and the music wasn’t honed by a team of digital songwriting craftsmen or organized by a slew of Spotify analysts. Killer was created in 1971! At the time, Gunsmoke was still one of the top-rated shows on TV, for Pete’s sake! The Alice Cooper band happened organically — a group of high school buddies from Phoenix who endeavored to become the biggest rock band in the world. They took crazy chances, gambled big, worked hard, and succeeded huge — without the Internet, back when that kind of thing happened.
In sum, Alice Cooper beat everyone to the punch. They boldly went where no band had gone before, tipping sacred cows and touching topics considered taboo at the time. And they did it in six-inch pumps and lace-up bustiers. As a result of their impeccable, trailblazing body of work, ONE statement ALWAYS will ring true: “There’s nothing new, honey.”
(5/5) ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
Killer Track List
SIDE ONE
- Under My Wheels (Bruce/Dunaway/Ezrin) 2:51
- Be My Lover (Bruce) 3:21
- Halo of Flies (Cooper/Buxton/Bruce/Dunaway/Smith) 8:22
- Desperado (Cooper/Bruce) 3:30
SIDE TWO
- You Drive Me Nervous (Cooper/Bruce/Ezrin) 2:28
- Yeah, Yeah, Yeah (Cooper/Bruce) 3:39
- Dead Babies (Cooper/Buxton/Bruce/Dunaway/Smith) 5:44
- Killer (Bruce/Dunaway) 6:57
