Jimmy Failla
Plaza Live • Orlando, Florida • May 12, 2024
by Christopher Long
Mother’s Day. In the high-stakes game of “Untouchable Tradition,” it’s a hard-to-beat Full House. Hence, if you’ve got the stones to actually try winning that game, you’d better pray for a Straight Flush — Ace High. Hey! Who invited THIS clown to the table?
Truth be told, they seemingly had little issue with the holiday being highjacked — the hundreds of fervent, faithful followers who flocked to the famed Plaza Live, on Mother’s Day, when comedian Jimmy Failla brought his current Everybody Calm Down Tour to the magical kingdom called Orlando.
Sporting an electric pink Liberace-sanctioned jacket and white Gap Band-worthy cowboy boots, the wildly popular radio and TV host took the stage shortly after 5 pm, to thunderous applause. The ensuing show focused more on Failla’s hilarious insights regarding current culture, and less on the political pigskin he’s known for running with as a tight end on Team FOX. “I’m kinda like a feral cat,” the one-time NYC cabbie confessed. “FOX (News) kinda domesticated me. They taught me how to live inside without peeing on the furniture.”
“Don’t take any of this shit seriously. It’s just comedy,” he cautioned the crowd. “If I say something tonight that you think goes a little far, say to yourself, ‘I wonder if he’s just kidding?’ That’s how comedy used to work back in the day.” Pointing out the clear differences between “a joke and a hate crime,” he encouraged the audience to “take the emotional bubble wrap off for an hour.” He then added, “If I do say something tonight that really burns your balls, you can email me after the show at GoFuckYourself.com. Dammit, Jimmy!
The rock-solid set oozed Failla’s signature-style, self-deprecating, politically incorrect humor — unfiltered and un-sanitized. “At 47, I pay attention to the world,” he revealed. “And this is the dumbest time there’s ever been to be alive.”
Along the way, Failla checked near-countless boxes: dating, marriage, parenting, social media, and woke silliness, along with plenty of behind-the-scenes dish on his newfound A-List political scene status, as well as on his fellow FOX teammates. Who knew that Dana Perino had been brought up on so many criminal charges?
Adding to the pomp and circumstance of the holiday, the entire Failla fam was in attendance — seated just two rows behind me — which for Failla’s more ardent supporters was kinda like spotting the Royals at Wimbledon, but with better teeth. Plus, NO members of his clan ever have popped up on any Epstein party list.
For a full 75 minutes, Failla never failed to land a punch — jab after rib-cracking jab. In fact, the performance could be summed up best by the boisterous 80-something-year-old seated directly behind me, when I overheard him comment during Failla’s final bit, “That fella’s the real deal” — a Straight Flush for sure, Ace High!
Featured photo courtesy of Jimmy Failla.
